A Day In the Life of Brad Vickers
by Ze new Misato
Summary: ...Is Brad REALLY gay? And find out WHY the Nemesis really killed him! This is a funny one :)


A Day In the Life of Brad Vickers  
  
Brad Vickers appeared skipping down the road, humming like a girly man. He had worn his usual attire, and looked.. womanly as ever! He crashed through the main gates, holding a small white daisy in his hand. He sniffed the air, smiling. "Another wonderful day.. oohooo!" He stood there admiring a little butterfly, while inside the building, in the meanwhile; cops stared out the window.  
"Ah Crap... its Brad." One of them said. "HEY ITS BRAD COOL" Rebecca yelled, before.. getting shoved in a big brown chest and had it locked. "Another day with this guy, and I might go insane." Police officer Marvin B. mumbled to himself as he leaned his head on the side of the window with a sigh. "Y'know, why don'tcha just fire this guy, Chief!?" ...Seems the Chief was too busy cowering over one of his paintings.  
And so, Rebecca popped out of the chest.. and an incy... wincy.. little.. itsy bitsy grain of dust shot up.. and fell on the painting. All the cops gasped, and swung around to gaze at the Chief.. who's eyes were pracitcally bugging out of his head. He shot up to his feet, placed his hands on his cheeks and shrieked like a girl. Brian Irons went insane, and began to run in circles.  
(5 seconds later: A shriek was heard, and Rebecca went flying out the window.)  
Brad skipped into the STARS office, and threw his arms to the side with a yelp of joy. Barry, Jill, and Chris glared at him in horror. "Not him...!" Jill cried out in horror in her mind. Brad skipped over to his desk, and plopped down on his chair, giggling to himself as he wrote on a small piece of pink paper with little blue hearts and purple stars on it. He looked around the office, only each time to meet the horrified gaze of another STARS member in the room... each of the other horrified.  
Brad giggled again, as he leaned back and put a hand over his lips, looking to the side. He folded the paper.. and slipped the daisy inside.. slipping it over to Chris' desk while he was away getting coffee. Jill slightly arched a brow, looking at this nut... why was he even in the STARS office!? Wesker had been busy doing paperwork, so he took no time to notice this.  
Chris kicked the doors in, and kicked them shut behind him after stepping in. He sipped coffee out of the cup he clutched in his hand, and walked over to his desk. He settled down, and placed the coffee on his desk. He reached over his messy desk to get a floppy disc, before noticing the little note on his desk. He pulled out the daisy, looking confused.   
He opened it, and read the little note inside.. a love letter.. from who? ...He then noticed the caption at the very bottom-- "Love, Brad. XOXO."  
[VIEW FROM BEHIND BRAD, CHRIS BLURRED, AND THEN TIGHTENED SO HES NOT BLURRED AND BRADS HEAD IS] ...Chris stared at Brad in horror, his eyes bloodshot and a long terrified frown on his face. Brad pressed his finger tips to his lips, and tittered like a flirt. The cigarette dropped from his lips and onto the marble floor, as he glared in horror at the man sitting at Rebecca's desk.  
Brad jumped to his feet, slamming his hands on Jill's desk. "WHAT THE HELL, BRAD!!?" Jill jumped to the side, startled from the slamming fists beside her. Brad grinned, and giggled. "Ooo.. fiesty.. arentcha?" Chris started turning red. Barry slowly stood up. "Uh.. Chris.. now.. don't.. get angry... okay?" Jill watched, and then turned to Barry. "A little too late, Barry."   
Brad stood up, kissed his two fingers and placed them on his butt, making a sound with his tounge.. "tsss.." Wesker watched, grinning-- he was gay too. :D Chris' eyebrow trembled in anger, and then Brad said... "Ooo.. I know you want me." Brad grinned sexily. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Chris yelled, lashing out. Barry ran over, attempting to hold him back.. while Wesker stared at Barry's butt jerking back and forth.. Yech. Jill attempted to talk Chris out of it, as Brad escaped the room and ran down the hall, giggling.  
Barry and Jill stumbled backward as Chris broke free, and dashed down the hall after the dumb fairie running down the hall. Barry fell flat on Weskers desk, and Wesker licked his lips. Barry turned his head to the panting Wesker, before jumping to his feet and edging away. Jill plopped down in her seat, hanging her head. "This won't end well." Barry shrugged, chuckling. "Maybe Brad will be gone for a while after this..?" Jill sighed. "No.. that fruity fag is persistant when it comes to Chris. Do you know what I caught him doing with Chris' picture in the l--" Barry cut her off. "THATS ENOUGH JILL." Wesker grinned, and leaned forward. "You can tell me." Jill and Barry stared at Wesker, and backed away and into a wall.  
Meanwhile, Brad made his womanly run down the hall, Chris soon bursting through the doors again. Brad swung in a circle, finding himself trapped in the library. Other cops watched, chanting and screaming as they took sigs from their beer bottles. Brad looked around, smiling. He avoided contact with Chris. "Oo.. Chris.. what a coincidence... US in a locked room with lots of men loving. Oohoohoo! Hehehe!" He giggled, covering his crotch.  
....Chris ran at Brad, before Brad held up one of Brian Iron's miniature statues. "WOULDN'T WANT TO.. BREAK THIS, WOULDJA CHRIS!?" Chris paused.. the thought of the Chief overreacting.. Ugh. Brad knew what he was thinking. "I LOVE when the Chief goes ballastic.. his buttcheeks.. they BOUN--" He was cut off, as the sargeant stomped in. "BREAK IT UP, AND GET BACK TO WORK." He pointed at Chris. "GET THOSE PAPERS DONE." Behind the Sarg, Brad was pointing at Chris sticking his tounge out.  
"AND YOU, GIRLY MAN, GET TO WORK. YOU HAVE SOME PAPERS TO FILL OUT." Brad gasped for twenty five seconds, before turning blue. "How could you!? Oooh!!" Brad busted out crying, and fled out of the library and toward the main hall, slamming the doors shut behind him. The cops and Chris gazed at eachother, before bursting out laughing.  
Brad sat alone in the secretary room, where Rebecca climbed through the window. "WHATS WRONG BRAD" she asked. Brad was pouting on a bench. "...Chris doesn't love me... Oooh...!" Rebecca's eyebrows rose high. "WHY ARE YOU AFTER CHRIS" Brad cried out. "I love him, I really love him!!" "YOU CANT DO THAT I LOVE HIM" Rebecca blurted out, before sirens went off. A cop busted through the doors, informing them of what was happening.   
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNDEAD CREATURES" Rebecca said, before she was shoved out the window. Brad shrieked, as a zombie burst throuhg the door, eating the other cop. "Oh the horror!" he cried out, fleeing the scene and going down to the STARS room. When he arrived, Wesker had already been gone.. Barry, Chris and Jill were readying their guns. "Whats going on!?" Brad called out across the room. Barry hesitated, before turning to the gay guy. "...you remember the mansion incident? Seems those undead creatures have practically destroyed the whole town under out noses."  
Brad sniffed a rose he was going to give to Chris, but Chris had a lighter-- he'd burn it and break his head. "...Oooh.. I know he has feelings for me back!!" Brad thought to himself... crossing his arms over his chest as he looked to the side and closed his eyes smiling. Jill stared, slightly arching a brow.  
Later that evening, Jill entered the main gates again after tons and tons of zombie blastin' for the past hour. This place was a mess... Raccoon City.. would it ever be cured? As she approached the main doors, she heard the doors open behind her. She swung around to see Brad stumbling in, holding his arm. "Jill.. Jill.. help! Hes gonna.." A big thump was heard as a huge creature jumped to the ground. "WAAAHH!" Brad ran, and toward a corner. Jill *acted* concerned, putting on her best terrified face. "Jill.. HELP.. HELLLP!" The creature said "STARS..." as he snatched him by the neck, and reached back.. a veiny squirming tentacle popping out of the center of his hand. Jill gasped, not doing anything, of course. "Bradddd!!" she screamed in her best dramatic worried voice.  
The hand entered Brads head, blood squirting everywhere as the tentacle was driven right through his head. Jill turned away, but was really snickering. She stopped, and turned back around with a gasp as Brads limp body fell to the floor. "NO!" The Nemesis narrowed its eyes, holding out its hand. Jill walked over, placing around $999 dollars in the his huge hand.   
He reached out, shaking her hand. "Nice doin' business with ya." the Nemesis said, taking the money with a nod. Jill ran off. "Thanks for killing the gay guy-- we all appreciate it!" She called back. Nemesis' eyerbrows rose, as he looked at her butt. "D Muahahaha.." He thought to himself, and began the pursuit of Jill Valentine. "STARS" ...STARS indeed! :D  
  
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BAKKKKKKAAAAAA.. Gimmie a break, it's my first fic y'know! After all-- we ALL know Brad is gay, right? ..Baka. x.x :smacks herself.: I guess the rest would take off that ResidentEvil dudes story.. who wrote the view of a Biohazard monster thingy... the part with Jill. Sayonara!  
(I guess this thing started off good at the beginning.. and started getting worse and worse.. I guess I started to lack humor..? ;-; Oi vey!) 


End file.
